How Infertility Impacts the Emotional Health of Women in their 30s

Infertility has become a big issue for women in their 30s. About 11% of women of reproductive age have experienced problems with getting pregnant in the United States. It can be a big disappointment when you’re unable to have children. Although I don’t have children and don’t have any plans with having them, I do sympathize with women experiencing this problem. But the good news is you don’t have to experience it alone. You can seek help and here are a few ways you can go about doing this, along with warning signs of how the stress of infertility can affect your emotional health.

Infertility causes Depression and Anxiety

When struggling for years to get pregnant, various emotional and psychological consequences could happen to you. Infertility often causes stress, depression, and anxiety. Your mood starts to drop when you realize you’re unable to get pregnant. This situation can negatively affect your marriage. Some studies suggest that infertile couples are three times more likely to divorce than those who aren’t.

Along with your marriage, it could also impact your daily life. Depression could cause you to become disorganized, have difficulty making light decisions, or have dependency needs. You’ll start to become inactive and lose the urgency to go and handle daily responsibilities, such as paying bills. Not being able to get pregnant has left a lot of women feeling worthless and sorry for themselves.

You Start to Blame Yourself

When you start worthless and low, it’s also common to start blaming yourself. You start to ask yourself, Was there anything I could’ve done better? Did I cause this? Did I do anything to prevent us from having children? These are just some of the common questions most women ask when they fail to have children. Sometimes, the husband blames himself when asking these similar questions.

However, in most cases, not being to have children usually comes from factors out of your control. These could be underlying health conditions or behaviors that temporarily interfere with giving birth. Research shows that on average your chances of getting pregnant in your 30s each month is 20 percent. It goes on to say that fertility does start to decline around age 34 or 35. So it could be tough for women in their mid-30s to conceive.

All of these reasons show that blaming yourself for not getting pregnant isn’t the answer. However, there are ways you can overcome these issues that could become a detriment to your emotional health. Here are a few of those ways.

Check on your Mental Health

When you find yourself going through these serious behavioral changes, it’s usually time for you to check on your mental wellness. It all starts with admitting to yourself that you’re not okay and that you need some help. Once you realize this, go out there and find that help. It could come from a mental health professional, a close friend, or a family friend. It could also come from an even better source such as God’s Word, the Bible. Just make sure that this source is good for your mind’s health.

Another good way to check on your mental health is by giving yourself a pep talk sometimes. Remind yourself of how good of a person you are with or without children. Sometimes, say positive attributes about yourself like “strong,” “smart,” or “loving.” State positive affirmations starting with, “I’m a good person” or “I can do this or that.” Try getting all of these things out on paper as well. Speaking of this, I happen to have a free workbook I’m going to share later where you could do just that.

Stay Busy and Positive

One of the best ways in managing your emotional health is to stay busy. Work has become effective for most people in taking their minds off their problems. When you accomplish something at your place of work, it gives you the boost of self-esteem that you need. However, if you don’t have a job, try staying busy in other ways to take your mind off your infertility problems. Start a home improvement project. Volunteer to assist a friendly neighbor you know. Get some other things done that you might’ve started on but need to finish. These are just a few ways you can stay busy and do positive things to take your mind off what you’re going through.

Open up to Loved Ones

You can’t handle your problems on your own no matter how hard you try. That’s why you must open up to your loved ones about your infertility issues. Confiding in someone you can trust is one of the best ways to manage your emotional health. Everyone needs help some time in dealing with their problems. If you don’t find someone to talk to, you’ll start to flounder and feel lost out there. Give that close girlfriend you know a call and pour your heart about your problems. Also, strive to open up to your spouse and share with him how you’re feeling.

If you’re a woman in your 30s experiencing the stress of infertility problems, you’re not alone. Consider these last three tips in managing your emotional health when going through this issue.

As I mentioned earlier, writing in a journal is a good way to manage your emotional health. What I have here is a free mental health workbook that encourages you to do that. It’s entitled, “Be Kind to Your Mind.” I like this workbook because it gives you different writing prompts, questions, and helpful advice in coping with your issues. I find it interesting and I hope you do. Print or download and type it in Adobe Acrobat Reader. As always, be sure to leave your thoughts on this post and like or share it with the next woman dealing with infertility that you know.

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